So the past few months have been hard. I haven’t gotten a cycle since Christmas and my extra 70lbs is not budging… until this weekend. Unfortunately, we had to travel out of town for my husband’s Grandmother’s funeral. She died suddenly and without warning in her sleep just before her 80th birthday.
Travelling to my in-laws is always a wonderful experience and I love them so much. They honestly are like a second family to me and since day one have welcomed me with open arms. But they eat a lot of fake foods… a lot of boxed, canned, and national brands. When I go over, I scrounge as best I can and hope my stomach can handle it.
With the sadness of this weekend I ate as light as possible and ate white gluten products to sustain myself. And a funny thing happened- by the time the weekend was over, my stomach had de-bloated, I was energetic, and my skin cleared up. The only thing that changed about this weekend were 3 things:
1. I ate almost no meat/eggs
2. I ate white bread/flour with cheese/dairy products
3. I slept in my makeup!!!
You would think I would have emerged from this weekend a fat, zitty mess! But no! As I looked in the mirror each day from Thursday to Sunday I saw the old me emerging… bright-eyed, clear smoothed skin, and even kind of thought I was a little bit pretty (my husband tells me I’m pretty all the time but the past few years my body has transformed so bad I was feeling very down about myself).
Now I’m in no way vouching for processed foods, gluten, or sugar… but what happened this weekend really was an eye-opener. I think I’ve been too hard on myself trying to eat perfectly and the healthiest foods I could find. What is the point of eating healthy when you stress out about it all the time? That’s just as damaging to our bodies as the processed junk is!
And the recent news about gluten-free products being dense with carbs, raising blood sugar more than white gluten, and rice products containing arsenic and lead… I’m wondering if having a few white-gluten products per week is the better choice. The past few years I’ve focused on gluten-free products, organic meats and eggs, and I’ve never been fatter or sicker! Even when I went strict Paleo for a whole year, which eliminated the gluten-free products and grains, I got FAT and SICK, both on reduced calories and when I tried to re-feed at 1600-1800 calories. I honestly think animal products don’t agree with me. I believe they back up my digestion and age me, and cause acne… everything Kim talks about in the Beauty Detox Solution.
[To clarify about the white gluten instead of whole grain or whole wheat: the brown stuff, including brown rice and quinoa, KILLS my stomach. It will be like a knife ripping through my intestines and I’ll be completely sick for 24 hours, unable to get out of bed. White gluten or rice however sits perfectly and I feel great after eating it.]
So this week I am starting anew. I made a gorgeous 6-veggie, dairy-free lasagna last night that I’m keeping around for dinners this week. It’s packed with pureed superfoods and is easy to digest, and is only lightly cooked. My husband is doing wonderfully on Paleo so he likes to make veggies and meat for dinner, and that’s fine. I’m starting to believe there is no one magic diet for everyone and for optimal health. Every body is different. So many women cure their PCOS with Paleo or Atkins… but for me it was a nightmare. It might take a little longer for me to beat this than low-carbing would allow, but I will beat this. Oh yeah, my wonderful father-in-law, who I totally adore, hounds me (nicely) about grand kids. I want to give him some!!
So no more rice, rice products or gluten free boxed foods for me. No more meat/eggs or trying to be low carb. I’m beauty detoxing with Kim, and enjoying the occasional white gluten product with a glass of wine, and see where that gets me. And cutting the stress is key. This past weekend we could only focus on one thing- the sadness surrounding my Grandmother-in-law‘s untimely passing. I believe this relieved me of all stress surrounding my PCOS, my food worries, and skin worries. I still can’t believe sleeping in my makeup gave me smooth, flawless, baby skin! I did it last night as well. I need to change my pillow case a little more frequently, but that doesn’t matter so much. The deep, cystic acne is completely gone!
I’m also contemplating a career change into financial advising. The only thing holding me back is social confidence, which I scored low on on the interview exam. Everything else– entrepreneurship, the need for control, and business sense I scored a whopping 100% on. I expect a job offer this week. It’s very challenging but should be very rewarding. I love people and finance, and would love to help people with theirs. However, I do hear self-sabotaging words in my head: “you’re not skinny enough, you’re not smart enough, who would listen to you?,”. Despite holding an MBA and being recruited heavily for this position, I’m still not very confident in my ability. PCOS sometimes makes me feel very tired, introverted, and sometimes just downright sick like I’m getting the flu. But I feel like I need this career change. There is a woman inside me that is clawing to get out. I need to stop playing it safe and follow my dreams. This is a dream job that is only offered to 4 people per year for this firm! I cannot let PCOS stand in my way.